AdLibbing the Marital Arguement
by kiniro no hana
Summary: When Emil's favorite toy is broken by Mathias, how will he make it up to the little demon? That's right. Mimicking a girl fighting with her husband.  Also known as Tino . AU.


"C'mon Ice! Smile!" Mathias whined as he sat on the wool carpet with the toddler. Emil was being stubborn and refused to stop frowning at Mathias. He was very upset with Mathias, because he's spilled beer on his favorite toy and ruined it. He loved the stuffed nisse Nikolas had made for him! No way was he going to smile at the Destroyer! Nikolas just watched from the wooden kitchen table, nibbling on a piece of bread and inwardly feeling sorry for his brother. Mathias was very annoying, after all. And Emil carried that toy with him everywhere. It was going to take more from Mathias than shameless begging to get Ice's forgiveness.

"No! You ruined Nisse! I hate you!" Emil said in a completely too serious manner for a child. Mathias sweat-dropped and sat back on his haunches, putting his hand to his chin and trying to figure out something that could make the kid forgive him. Suddenly something caught Nikolas's attention. He looked out the window into the snowy scenery beyond. Seems like Berwald and Tino were having a lover's spat. They were standing in the thigh-deep snow and staring at each other. Tino with anger and hellfire, and Berwald with a steely look that he guessed was regret. They were talking, well Tino was talking, and gesticulating wildly while Berwald just stood there.

"Hey anko, come look at this. Tino and Berwald are fighting." Nikolas drawled, taking a bite of his bread. Mathias made a sound of curiosity and walked over to look out the window.

"Huh, guess you're right, Nikolas! Trouble comes to paradise too, eh?" Mathias laughed as he grabbed a bottle of beer and bit the cap off. Then, while taking a swig, he was stuck with a great idea! Putting the beer on the table he ran over to where Emil was still sulking on the throw rug and picked up the little snaedis, who screamed in indignation and started fighting and biting and squirming desperately in Mathias' arms. Mathias held the kid and arm's length before dumping him in Nikolas' lap. Once he was with his brother Emil calmed immediately and snuggled into his brothers' chest. He mewled like a kitten when Nikolas started petting his hair. Mathias felt a tinge of annoyance, since why does the kid get to be petted by Nikolas without having done anything? But it fled quickly, because soon the kid would forgive him and peace would return to their awesome union!

"See Berwald-troll and Tino, Ice?" Mathias said conspiratorially, looking out the window like he feared being caught. Emil stopped his cuddling and looked at Mathias before looking out the window. The fight had gotten worse since Mathias looked away, now Tino was shouting and Berwald would answer back every now and then, terrifying face scowling menacingly. Ice nodded and looked at Mathias suspiciously. The large blonde only grinned wolfishly and looked at Nikolas. He winked and Nikolas just sighed before nodding. Anything to get Emil to forgive the great ham so the screaming could end.

"You see, Ice, Berwald and Tino are having what grown-ups call a 'lover's quarrel'. That means they're slightly annoyed with each other but they are also trying to release some tension! OUCH! Nikolas, what the hell? The kid's gotta know the truth!" Mathias exclaimed as he rubbed the growing bump on his skull. Ice giggled at his brother's Mathias-directed violence. Mathias sighed, it was a step in the right direction! He took a swig of his beer, before slamming it down and grinning. "So, Ice, d'ya wanna know what they're saying?"

Emil nodded, looking out the window with great interest. Mathias smiled, looking at Nikolas with pleading eyes. Nikolas just looked at him. Taking that as a "yes", Mathias proceeded with his plan. Clearing his throat, he started talking in a comically high-pitched imitation of Tino's voice.

"Oh, Berwald how could you do this to me?" Mathias tried to stop himself from laughing, and Nikolas sighed before clearing his throat as well.

"I didn't have any other choice, Tino!" His voice was deep in a mimicry of Berwald's voice. Emil giggled at them both, but he stopped once he noticed it and tried to make himself frown. Stupid Mathias wouldn't win so easy! Seeing his success, Mathias continued.

"But I thought you _loved _me, Ruotsi*!" Emil stifled a guffaw, burying his face in Nikolas's tunic to try and hide it.

"I _do _love you, Tino!"

"Then why did you do this to me? How am I ever going", Mathias slurped his beer before continuing, "to trust you again?"

"I don't understand what's so horrible about it, Tino!"

"You mixed the whites with the colors! Now all my whites are ruined, Ruotsi!"

"I said I was sorry, since I'm not nearly as cool or intelligent as Mathias! And I asked you to call me Berwald!" Nikolas snorted at the intelligent part.

"How am I supposed to love someone named Berwald! Especially when he takes that idiot Mathias as an example!" Emil was holding out well until he heard the insult, which made him burst out laughing, leaning over dangerously so that Nikolas had to put a hand on his chest to keep him steady.

"He's not an idiot! He's smart and cool and awesome and hot!" Mathias stood and went to the other side of the table where he crouched down and held Emil's hands in his, "And he's Ice's forgiven buddy too, right, Ice?"

"Uhhmm...Nikolas?" He looked up at his brother who simply shrugged. "Hmm...theeeeeen...no!" And with that Emil hopped out of Nikolas's lap and ran for it.

"Eh?...Hey! Wait! Come back here you little monster!" Mathias dashed after the boy, hot on his heels. They ran out into the snow to the place where Berwald and Tino were fighting, and Ice hid behind Berwald's legs, making Mathias slide on the wet snow trying to stop in time, and ran off again when Mathias was down. Tino and Berwald looked dumbstruck, until Mathias tried to chase Emil into a small thicket and got a giant rip in the seat of his pants. Seeing it, Tino fell down from laughing, and even Berwald was chuckling at Mathias's misfortune. Nikolas just shook his head and smiled. He stood and finished Mathias's beer before sauntering over to a cabinet and pulling out the nearly-finished toy he was sowing for Emil. It was a puffin, which he knew his baby brother loved. Flopping onto the couch, he began sowing the pink bow-tie onto the toy. Thus, another peaceful day passed in Scandinavia.

*Ruotsi is the Finnish name for Sweden.

** A snaedis is an Icelandic snow pixie/goddess

The inspiration for this fan-fiction comes from the videos of the Swedish cosplay group Fabror Esters Pojkar, mainly the "Hetalia-The Nordics" skit with backup from the "Finland vs. Denmark" skit. They're very funny, and their videos are subtitled in very good English.

I do not claim ownership of the anime, webcomic, and/or any affiliated media of Hetalia - Axis Powers. This story was written solely for entertainment purposes, no copyright infringement is intended, and no monetary profits are obtained from this.


End file.
